Protecting each other, in every version of the future
One of you goes first, or you go together, or the marriage ends before either. A good couple's plan holds up in all three futures, and this one does.
Two secrets, two mirrored plans
Each partner gathers their own essentials, their password manager, their phone and email recovery details, behind one secret, then splits it into five pieces with HeirLock. The two distributions mirror each other, so the whole arrangement is easy to remember and fair by construction.
The setup, for each partner’s secret
- check_circlePiece 1: the other partner. The everyday case. Together with the home safe and the attorney, a surviving spouse reaches three pieces within days.
- check_circlePiece 2: one trusted in-law from your side of the family.
- check_circlePiece 3: one trusted in-law from your partner’s side. Both families participate, neither controls.
- check_circlePiece 4: printed in the shared home safe, one page per partner, clearly labeled.
- check_circlePiece 5: a sealed envelope with the estate attorney who drafted your wills.
Check it against the three futures
One of you dies: the survivor, the safe, and the attorney make three. Both of you die together: the two in-laws and the attorney make three without either of you. The marriage ends: your ex holds one piece, can never reach three, and you re-split anyway, which retires every old piece instantly.
Make it a single evening
This is a two hour project with a deadline-free feel, which is why couples postpone it for years. Put it on the calendar: consolidate your logins, split both secrets, label the safe pages, and address the envelopes for the in-laws and the attorney. Then write the shared instructions letter naming both sets of holders and the rule, any three pieces together in the HeirLock app.
Anniversary maintenance
Once a year, ideally a date you already remember, confirm the holders, the safe, and the envelopes, and re-split if a master password changed. For the broader checklist of what belongs behind each secret, see digital inheritance.
Couples questions
Why two separate setups instead of one shared secret?
Because your accounts are not actually one account. Each of you has your own email, your own phone, your own recovery paths, and sometimes assets the other does not manage. Two mirrored setups keep each person's secret whole and let either setup be changed without disturbing the other.
What happens to this plan in a divorce?
An ex-spouse holds one piece, one in-law holds another, and three are required, so nobody can act alone even in the angriest year. Practically, you would split your secret again the week you separate, which instantly makes every old piece worthless.
Why include the in-laws?
They are the answer to the both-of-us scenario. If a single accident takes you both, each family holds a piece, the attorney holds a third, and the people handling your affairs can reach what they need without either of you. Picking one in-law from each side also keeps the two families balanced.
Should we hold pieces of each other's secrets on the same phone?
Each partner holding one piece of the other's secret is fine, that is the design. Just store the printed pieces for the home safe as two separate pages, and never store three pieces of the same secret in one place, including one device or one safe.
Two hours now, covered in every future
Set up separate plans for each partner, then keep them easy to update if life or the relationship changes.
Download HeirLockarrow_forward